Molesting ANBU
by bgreenwivy
Summary: Three drunken Chuunin should not be able to cause this much trouble but of course that would be true only if two of the chuunin, Iruka and Naruto weren't such outrageous characters to begin with.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Molesting ANBU

Pairing: Naruto/Sasuke, Kakashi/Gai/Iruka and Neji/Shikamaru/OC

Disclaimer: I own nothing I just play with the characters every once in a while.

Summary: Three drunken Chuunin should cause this much trouble but of course that would be if two of the chuunin, Iruka and Naruto weren't such outrageous characters to begin with.

Warning: There is an OC in this to balance Naruto and Iruka out some and she is a bit character and not too much of the plot.

The Hokage was at a bit of a loss; in her extensive tenor as Hokage or even in the records for the previous Hokages something like this had never occurred. In front of her three chunin teachers stood so drunk that they were already hung over and barely able to stand. By her desk stood one slightly confused but most definitely angry Ibiki. Shizune stood on the other side looking just as dazed.

"Iruka, Midori and Naruto would you like to tell me why you molested my ANBU." Tsunade started her gaze sliding to each one.

Iruka looked resigned and only slightly ill. Midori the youngest and newest chunin teacher looked close to tears. Naruto seemed the most put together but even he was a tad bit red in the face.

"I understand the interest in going to drink after a mission but how did it get to the point where the three of you managed to capture and molest five ANBU." Tsunade barely managed not to laugh at the absurdity of it.

"We might be really drunk." Midori's deep voice spoke quietly. Tsunade studied the lone female in the group. The way the three of them were standing it looked like a progression picture. Naruto was the tallest at six four, tanned and heavily muscled; built more for strength and stamina than anything else. Midori was a little over six feet a few shades darker with intelligent light brown eyes with a blue ring around the iris and black hair pulled in a bun and the balance of the group. Then Iruka standing five nine, lean, mean and built for speed and great with infiltrations.

"I think it is what we drunk." Naruto rasped. "It was something new and had chakra in it."

"Jump juice is illegal." Tsunade intoned linking her fingers in front of her face to hide the twitching of her mouth. Beside her she could feel Ibiki quivering slightly with what emotion she wasn't sure. "It is harmless for the majority of the population but what it does for one percent of the population is dangerous."

"So then us molesting the ANBU is just a consequence of jump juice." Iruka conjectured hopefully.

"Wrong, it puts the one percent in a coma." Shizune explained.

The three chunins blanched.

"Want to try that again?" Ibiki asked his voice dangerously lowered.

"We were thinking that ANBU can't be worse to track down and capture than our students." Iruka spoke evenly while the others looked everywhere else.

"It's good training and helps with our classroom teachings later." Midori added hiccupping slightly through her explanation.

"Yeah I mean it tracking is a vital skill." Naruto expounded on his fellow teachers points.

"Where did you three molesting them come into play?" Tsunade asked slightly baffled.

"We figured that we had to be rewarded for a job well done." Naruto responded brazenly before blushing scarlet.

"Do you have any idea who you caught?" Shizune asked curiously.

"Nope we would have to feel them up again to be sure." Midori said with a disgruntled sigh.

"Better luck next time I suppose." Naruto agreed while Iruka looked thoughtful.

"When we catch them this time we shouldn' t be as nice though. One of mine busted my lip before I got his other arm restrained. " Iruka smiled dazedly.

"I only had the one but he had such a bad hissy fit it is a wonder I caught him at all." Naruto nodded yawning slightly.

"Both of mine were easy." Midori bragged before she turned slightly green.

"If you are sick on my floor." The Hokage warned.

"I know who they are!" Iruka yelled slightly excited.

"Really?" Midori immediate forgot her need to hurl.

"No but I sorta thought for a moment I did." Placing his hand on top of his head Iruka blushed.

"Go sleep it off you three." Tsunade dismissed them with a wave. "Tommorrow we will discuss the punishment and if the ANBU in question want to press charges." As the three bowed unsteadily and staggered out of her office, Tsunade worked on keeping the grin off her face.

"You five get out here and masked off." Activating the privacy wards of her office, Tsunade leaned back in her chair while the five men made their appearance, saluting before sliding their masks off and standing in different places.

Gai was the first to speak and he scolded Kakashi who was slouched next to him. "You shouldn't have hit Iruka." Kakashi cut his eyes at Gai before responded.

"You shouldn't have been so eager on duty." As the two rivals glowered at each other in an uncharacteristic way, Tsunade made note of the fact that neither seemed to have any objection to the fact that they had been quite happily groped and fondled by a certain tipsy chuunin. Turning to the next set of two, Tsunade raised her eyebrows at the Neji who blinked slowly at her in unconcern before looking at Shikamaru who had a senbon in his mouth and was flicking it lightly back and forth. Shikamaru looked no more bothered then Neji. Finally Tsunade turned to look at the wildcard of the bunch Sasuke who for all intents and purposes looked as though he was torn between murderous indignation and intrigue.

"So I take it there are no real objections to what happened?" Tsunade mused lightly. The ensuing silence was all she needed to know. "Don't physically or mentally damage them please; they are the best at what they do." The warning look she gave the lot of them was enough to scare a normal person into a coma but the highly skilled ninjas only nodded and were gone. At the moment Tsunade had no interest in anyone knowing that part of the reason they had caught the ANBU so easily had to do with the fact that they were reserves.

"Hokage do you think that is wise?" Ibiki turned to regard his Hokage still having some trouble grasping it all.

"Yes." Tsunade responded. "I lost spectacularly at gambling tonight."

TBC….Depending on interest.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Midori's chapter.

It was truly saying something when Camui Midori was at a loss. On the one hand she should have known she would get in some type of trouble for her slightly lewd conduct on the two ANBU. Looking at it from the other perspective though she didn't believe it was far that she was going to be in charge of cleaning an apartment as her specific punishment.

The actual cleaning wasn't a problem. The apartment itself was actually pretty tidy though dusty. After taking a quick look around Midori deducted that two people lived in the two bedroom apartment. Both were apparently male with longer hair as proven by the hairs in the bathroom drain. One bedroom was dusty but otherwise fairly neat while the other subscribed to an organized chaos that it took Midori a few minutes to decipher that it was organized by habitual movements rather than an obvious order. Things were in place in a manner that spoke more of efficiency versus neatness. The second bedroom appeared to be the one that both men slept in as evidence by the mixing of scents on the sheets when Midori stripped the bed. The first bedroom appeared to be used for keeping the appearance that the two men didn't sleep together.

Blushing hotly as she imagined the type of illicit activities that took place in the second smaller bedroom Midori compiled the different items she would have to wash and got the first load started before tying a scarf around her hair and an apron around her waist. She was glad she had dressed in jeans and a throwaway t-shirt as she got to work deep cleaning the kitchen and living room that were only separated by the breakfast bar.

Two hours and one load of laundry later, Midori felt as though she was being watched. Sitting back on her knees from where she had been scrubbing the tile bathroom floor she tilted her head. Flaring her chakra briefly she felt two presences pulling out of her range. Knowing she wouldn't see anything, Midori looked out the window anyway and observed the quiet area. Living just off of the main traffic of Konoha was an expensive place to live but the convenience and general safety of it wasn't lost on anyone who lived there.

Contemplating these facts Midori went back to cleaning and soon felt the touchy being watched again. Dropping the rag she had been using she stood up, cracking her back in the process before going to switch out the laundry again. Tapping her fingers on the breakfast bar Midori decided to grab the bull by its horns.

"Look if you have any complaints about the way I am cleaning your place you could leave a note or something. I have to clean here for the next year anyway." Grumbling the last part, Midori waited patiently to see if her hunch on who was spying on her was correct. Less than a minute later the door opened and Midori tilted her head as two men she knew from Naruto walked in.

"Hyuuga san and Nara san welcome home. The laundry is almost done." Midori bowed politely as Shikamaru grunted and went to the sofa lounging back lazily.

"Shikamaru and Neji is fine." Neji's voice was smooth as he studied the chuunin in front of him thoughtfully. "We forgot today but when you come to clean we have a uniform for you so you don't get your clothes dirty unnecessarily."

Midori had a flash of foreboding. Neither man were known for being perverts and she didn't have a figure that necessarily inspired that type of thinking. For one she was too tall. She and Neji were eye level with Shikamaru being just a little shorter. Her figure was an hourglass shape but she wasn't over flowering in her bust area or her backside. Her skin most thought was unfortunately dark and foreign. Her father was from Kumo and her mother was a refugee from Mist. Her hair was plain black and at the moment braided out in cornrows so she wouldn't have to worry about.

Taking the bag from Neji with a smile, Midori looked in the bag blinking slowly. She was positive the whole street heard heard her yell of disbelief. Pulling what had to be one of the most scandalous clothing items she had ever encountered and her being a ninja that was truly saying something.

"Less fabric means less to clean and since you would have to take a shower afterwards anyway makes it more effective." Shikamaru studied the ceiling as he smoked thoughtfully while Neji maintained a poker face.

"I wonder if it is too late to offer to take the capture Tora missions for a year." Midori mused holding up the scraps of fabric.

"You are here now." Neji observed moving into the kitchen and beginning to prepare tea while Midori contemplated each of the two men in turn.

"I would almost prefer you just molested me and be done with it." Midori slumped in defeat as she put together a few things that she had been too drunk to immediately examine at the time and noticed now. "I'm sorry by the way it was my intention to interfere with your duty or embarrass you."

"The outfit will cancel the embarrassment for the moment and well you officially aren't off the hook for a year so..." Shikamaru waved his hand about lazily his eyes closed.

Midori thought she detected a shadow of a smile on Neji's face before it was gone again. There was a saying for this Midori was sure. "Why do I get the feeling I am on the hook for a lot more than cleaning the apartment?"

"She catches on well doesn't she." Neji commented evenly through a slight smile was definitely around the edges of his mouth. Shikamaru was grinning at this point.

"It's a good thing I'm single and have an open mind about these things." Midori grumbled going to go change into an outfit that she was sure would be more revealing than her underwear. Belatedly she wondered if anyone else was in similar straits.

Chapter 3: Iruka's Chapter. Preview

"You cannot be serious!" Huffing and waving his arms Iruka pointed at the items that were currently being held in Kakashi's hands while Gai was beaming.

Turning back to Tsunade who had collapsed over her desk laughing helplessly. Pointing his finger Iruka bellowed, "How is this getting off easy compared to Midori? She practically had both her ANBU naked before she was contained. I barely copped a feel!" Realizing how stupid he sounded at the moment Iruka slumped.

"Yes and Midori is working off her debt for a year and you only have two weeks." Shizune was trying to keep a straight face but failing epically. "You could of course..."

Waving his arms frantically Iruka turned to look where Gai and Kakashi were waiting patiently. "I thought ANBU identities were secret and required..." Trailing off Iruka facepalmed as his argument crumpled. Iruka was a trusted administrator with high level clearance, Midori would likely be commander of the Hunter nin in a few more years if she continued to pursue it and her clearance was right up there with his. Naruto was essentially the Hokage's apprentice and earning his stripes in the academy before he took the jounin exams and then his own team.

"So now you see how beneficially this worked out. The circumstances leave a bit to be desired but I think this will be an interesting arrangement." Tsunade was practically rubbing her hands in glee after watching the wheels in Iruka's head turn. "Have fun!" Waving the three out of her office, Tsunade couldn't help but burst out laughing again as the paralyzed Iruka was tossed over Gai's shoulder as he ran out the door yelling about youth. A jaunty salute later Kakashi had followed.

"Now all that is left to do is deal with the gaki." Tsunade breathed thoughtfully.


End file.
